Still Awake...Not good.

I figured I'd be asleep by now. I had no intentions on being up at this hour and yet here I am. But I'm determined that I won't see the sun rise. Like a vampire, it's not a welcome sight. ;-p

I couldn't take my sleep meds because I ate like, five brownies that my daughter made for dessert. I don't usually do chocolate but I do have a weakness for brownies. It's a good thing they didn't have nuts in them because I probably would have eaten half the pan. I can't even say this is insomnia at this point. I really believe that I'm choc full of caffiene and who can I blame? Only myself, because had I not messed around earlier, I would have had a nice cup of decaf and that would have quelched any desire to eat the brownies; or so that's what I'm telling myself.

So here I go. I'm going to drink a little water and go lie down for about what, five or six hours? Even without an alarm I'm going to wake up a few minutes before 8 a.m., so that's about right. It's a good thing my first appointment for the day isn't until 2 p.m., I can't imagine having to drag my sorry behind out of the house before noon at this rate.

I have started yawning in the past ten minutes so I must be getting sleepy. I read an article that yawning doesn't necessarily mean boredom or being tired. It can also be a sign of arousal. I kid you not. I read it in a magazine, it has to be out there on the net somewhere. I can't really see that in my case though. I mean, I was thinking about someone but for Bob's sake, it's 3:25 a.m. and there's absolutely nothing I can do about seeing that special someone so I'm gonna say I must be excited about going to bed.

Once again, goodnight and pleasant dreams. ;-)

C'mon is it really an addiction if I like it?

I have a pain in my neck and I would suppose that it's from sitting in front of this computer for the past few hours. I got caught up playing a game, then someone starting instant messaging me (that made me fall behind in the game). Then it was time to eat dinner and I got a phone call and then people decided to chat online with me. I guess I could have ignored them, but I was happy to hear from them. I decided to continue playing the game and even gave my uninterested niece and daughters some pointers on how to successfully win at the game. I was so into it that I forgot to make myself coffee before it got too late in the day.

So let's talk about addictions. I don't do drugs although I did enjoy taking my friend Vic Odin for a while when I had hurt myself moving. I'm not an alcoholic, don't particularly care for chocolate or shopping and I'm not a sex addict either. But you have to understand that I really love coffee. When I was younger I couldn't understand why my grandfather would drink it all the time. Morning, noon and night I remember him drinking coffee. Once he gave me a sip and I did not like it at all! Now I can't understand why anyone wouldn't like coffee. If I don't have coffee I feel like something is missing from my life. Doesn't really matter if it's regular or decaf, I love the flavor. I'm a DD fan, Dunkin Donuts baby! Toasted almond with two creams and three sugars is my favorite. Two cups a day is all I need, on those really stressful days, maybe I'll have three.

My real addiction is to a certain FB game (Facebook). I love this particular game, I think of strategies as soon as my mind is clear enough. That's usually after a few sips of coffee in the morning. I can't wait to touch my keyboard and mouse to play it, I check it like a school girl waiting for a phone call from a boy she has a crush on. Some of the language I use when I find out that my butt has been kicked is very similar to the language I use when I'm on the road and some idiot driver does something that makes me wonder how they even got a license. I've been given "the look" several times by both friends and family when I mention the game. I was thrilled to find out I could follow it on Twitter and I actually look forward to decimating as many players as I can. I have a Napoleon complex in this game, doesn't matter how big you are, I'll still pick a fight with you.

My confession, if you can call it that because its no secret to those who really know me, is that I've even convinced my children to sign up so that they can help me. I harass my family and friends to join my group online so that I can gain more money and move up levels. (I'm under M Kristen Troy, if you want to look me up and add me as a friend...put VC in the request and I'll send you an invite for the game.) I've even asked friends of theirs to join me, it never hurts to ask, right? I suppose I ought to be ashamed of myself but I figure its better than drinking and not as bad for my health. Maybe a little harsh on my eyes but that's why I turned down the brightness on my screen and my bifocals work just fine when I wear them.

Well folks, it's past my bedtime now. I have appointments in the afternoon, I have three teenage girls and one 8 year old boy that I have to contend with in the morning. Seeing as how I can't seem to drag myself out of bed before 9 a.m., it'll be fun trying to get them up and at 'em. My insomnia seems to have eased up, I don't stay awake until the sun rises anymore, but I still wake up two or three times during the night and wake up a few minutes before 8. I have family and friends that like to call or text me first thing in the morning and I have to keep reminding them that I'm not really coherent so any questions or answers I may have or give will be subject to review.

So that's my post for this evening. I'll try to do better tomorrow. Goodnight and pleasant dreams.

Someone call 9-1-1, it's time for dinner.

Okay, I'll admit it, I'm not the best cook in the world. If I had to rank myself I'd be in the same ranking of others who can cook well enough to survive. It seems to be that I can cook really well when I'm put on the spot. For example, Thanksgiving dinner or any other large family gathering that I may be hosting. I'll make sure that all of my ingredients are fresh and the best, I'll labor with love over the meal. Not so much if I'm just cooking for myself or even if I'm just cooking for myself and the girls, we eat to survive not really to savor the flavor. What kind of mommy am I? LOL

Heck, if I cook an awesome meal and get complimented on it then I'm surprised too. And lately it seems I do more cooking at my X's house than at my own. Not sure why that is but it happens and I don't mind. He compliments my cooking and I think that may be a reason why I go over there. I feel appreciated for my service and I don't want him to talk about me so I do as best I can. What a sap I am, I don't think I cared that much about it when we were married, or did I? And if I were to be really honest with myself, I would have to say that I enjoy making sure that he eats a nice healthy meal...I like taking care of him and it doesn't matter that we're not a couple anymore. I enjoy his company still...Hmm, it really is the little things in life that make it interesting.

Anyways, this week was awesome for me because I did something out of the ordinary for me. I went out with friends and family, stayed out late until the wee hours of the morning, laughed, relaxed and was able to just be myself and not have to worry about anything. It was awesome (I said that once, I'll try not to use that word again. LOL) and I'm looking forward to doing it more often. I found myself in a rut and I think that was part of my problem. It sucks to be bored. I didn't want to read a book, I'd looked at all the movies in my collection and wasn't interested in seeing any new movies yet, and I'm always on the internet so that wasn't exciting anymore either. I'm not by any means a party animal, I don't want to hang out at the club every weekend. Actually I don't want to club at all, I didn't like it when I was 20 something and I'm pretty sure I won't like it now that I'm closer to 40. Just being out gave me that breath of fresh air I needed.

So within two days I got to see some old sights and some new sights, the weather was beautiful both days. I went to Belle Isle (took some pics and drove around the island just looking at the sights), to the casino (MotorCity and MGM Grand) played a few machines with some change, had some dinner, took some more pics and then it was time for me to come back to everyday life and handle business on about six hours of sleep between the two days. Oh yeah, I was living the life. And speaking of life it's time for me to go and pick up the furry boy. Love my doggie. He stays with my ex but due to his work schedule it's easier for me to pick the furry one from doggy daycare and it gives me something to do with my life. So I'm outta here until next time.

It was a day like all the others...Bah!

I'm going through a bout of insomnia folks. Nothing really new except that maybe it's a little worse and that is kinda surprising. See, I'm in this sleep study where I'm supposed to take sleep meds but the problem is I don't know if I'm taking the real deal or a placebo. Seeing as how I don't sleep I'm figuring it's the latter but then again unless you give me a straight tranquilizer cocktail, I don't think anything puts me to sleep. I take that back, there are plenty of days I can remember falling asleep during a loudly delievered monotone sermon, those always put me to sleep. In the past two days I've gotten about 6-7.5 hours of sleep. I try but I wake up faithfully every two hours it seems. Sucks to be me.

Okay, anyways I haven't written anything since December last year and that's pathetic seeing as how I have so much to talk about. Really, it's true, I just found another way to annoy people and it's through those wonderful engines called Facebook and Twitter. Yeah, I totally gave over to the dark side on those. I'm considering this my break/rehab from those. I need to spill a little more than 140 characters right now and since my games were messing up on me it only aggravated me to see my Request inbox filling up.

I've moved to what some of my family considers BFE. It's not that far but it is a change and I love it. I can go for walks to the library now, there are lakes less than five miles away that I can go and gander at, bike trails (I wish I had a bike). I can walk to just about any store I need to get to for the necessities so I'm saving tons on gas now. My fricken light bill was only $38! Compared to the monster bills I used to get right now that's a little more than a tank of gas for my van. My new place is small but cozy, it's mine and for the most part its quiet until my neighbors upstair decide to have company. I don't know what they are doing up there but it usually doesn't last more than an hour or so and they are otherwise unheard from. My only other pet peeve is parking. If I really expressed what I thought I would be considered, ummm, prejudiced so I'm just going to say that certain persons don't know how to park and I believe their driving skills are probably just as bad from the way they park.

My oldest child and the boy are both in Cali, my middle gal will soon be going off to college and the youngest will be a senior in a new school and she has anxiety issues (yay me?). I'm unemployed and not necessarily unhappy about that, I needed the break and clarity that it has brought me. I get the feeling that I always would have been on probation and being close to fired and that's a stress I don't need in life ever!

So I'm outta here. I have dishes to clean up from cooking a nice little breakfast. I don't wanna do it. I'm not even slightly motivated but I think I put on the schedule that I have kitchen duty today. What was I thinking? LOL